i've surprised myself here by actually returning to constantina after the christmas hols but since i've been back it really hasn't been that bad. for a start it's t-shirt weather and secondly i've spent 6 euros all week. however there is more to life than a tan and being minted (albeit malnourished and hungry)...and this is what constantina just can't offer - not consistently anyway. i did however have a couple of chuckles to myself this week...
my first day back was a sunday - i try and avoid spending any time awake in constantina on a sunday namely because it is depressingly boring. so thankfully my neighbours (the spanish grandmama and grandpapa) invited me for a rock on their rocking chair, spicy sausage and a chat...pre-lunch, around 3pm, spanish styleee. i left at 5pm pretty smashed - they forced a lot of 'mosto' down me - 'mosto' thankfully doesn't exist in the uk. it is the gnarly raw-tasting juice of the first grapes of the season, you can pick up a 2 litre bottle for 3 euros. bazzargain. best avoided if you want to function the next day. they also made me eat every variable of pig meat they had in the house - telling me it was all leftovers from christmas and that they were fed up with it so i could eat as much as i wanted (charming) - i suppose it was the spanish equivalent of someone pushing turkey curry on you on around january the 2nd - just not appealing. senora (spanish granny) is dieting so she was on non-alkie beer and shamelessly belching like a trooper. i really couldn't handle another glass of mosto so made excuses about cooking a chicken and left, they sent me off with a kilo of oranges and a diary from the andalucian council made of cork. they really are very kind and i'm lucky to have them around...apart from when they're talking excitedly (ie shouting) - if we were at home i'm pretty sure they'd both have asbo's for noise pollution by now.
my second amusing tale of the week and probably one of my top constantine moments so far was the other morning when i was driving through the 'moorish quarter' to my flat. i had just turned off the main road by the first traffic lights (there are 3 traffic lights in constantina and nearly everything can be described in relation to these spots)...i turned down the little side street that leads to the doughnut shop and there was a man ahead, laden with goods, striding along down the middle of the cobbled street. the pavements here are teeny and not worth using (unless you're a borrower in which case they're ample). he had 3 plastic bags full of tasty treats and some baguettes tucked under his arm. he heard my car coming up behind him (not at any great speed i might add) and briefly glanced over his shoulder to indicate that he was moving over towards the pavement...but he turned to look at where the steering wheel should've been and alas that side of the car was vacant. his eyes darted over to where i was sitting and this is where he started to lose control of his limbs...the shock kicked in and the baguettes crashed down and crumbled onto the cobbles. a bag of jam jars hit the road and their sticky, fruity content followed. i'm pretty sure there were some eggs involved too. as soon as he rescued one item from the cobbles another one fell... thankfully he was tickled by the mishap as much as i was. hemouthed 'it's your fault' to me rather friskily numerous times and eventually gathered his composure and most of his provisions (some were beyond repair), let me pass and continued on his little spanish way.
so all in all not a bad first week back. the convent kids are still disappointed that i don't have a spanish boyfriend or come to school by plane from england everyday but hey you can't please everyone. the adults (mainly the men) are intensely excited for the visit of two of my wonderful friends Georgina and Harriet in a few weeks time... in fact most of the town is eagerly awaiting their visit; a pub quiz and a spread (showcasing cucumber sarnies) at 'the pirate pub' is being organised in their honour and i wouldn't be surprised if they declare it a public holiday at this rate. juan pedro is especially excited, he forgot to breathe and quite possibly excreted some kind of bodily fluid when i mentionned that they're sisters.
thanks for reading.
until next time!
xxxx
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